


Night Visits at Arkham

by CavannaRose



Series: Harley Quinn Fics [9]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman: The Animated Series, Harley Quinn (Comics)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Mild Gore, Plots and Plans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-29
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-29 22:55:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6397270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CavannaRose/pseuds/CavannaRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harley has a plan, but she needs help from an old friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The darkened halls of Arkham Asylum felt like home to Harleen as the former psychiatrist merrily skipped down the gloomy corridors. For a maximum security establishment, said to house the most disturbed minds Gotham had ever spawned, the guards had been remarkably easy to sneak up on. The blonde jester had merely bashed the poor men over the head and tied them up, not really being in a killing mood tonight. No no, she had a date with a particular inmate and she couldn't show up covered in blood. It tended to get him all riled up, and she needed him as lucid as he was capable of. She didn't want the poor guards to feel bad that they'd been so easily subdued, though, so she'd taken out her bright red lipstick and drawn smiling faces across their lips, before kissing them on the forehead and prancing away for her late night rendezvous.

There was an old friend currently being housed here, and he had some information that the clown princess was rather eager to acquire. It would have been so much simpler if he hadn't allowed mean old Daddybats to catch him unawares and bundle him off to the loony bin, but at least this way she knew where to locate the man. She counted down the cell numbers in a singsong voice, finally coming to the right one. She clapped her hands excitedly. Let no man say Harley Quinn couldn't come up with a top notch plan. This one was going to be a real doozy.

She gave a polite little rap on the cell door, before sliding the little window open, her cheerful blue eyes blinking merrily as they met his irate brown ones. "I'm sorry ta drop by so late, but my schedule was simply /mad/ and I do so need a favah from ya..." She began, her voice soft and persuasive. Her time as a psychiatrist here had taught her many things, and she knew he was a difficult case. Luckily, she was likely the most qualified individual when it came to appeasing and dealing with difficult cases.

"No no no, this isn't right. You aren't Alice at all! ... Are you?" The madman queried, sleep and confusion thick in his voice as he rubbed his eyes, staring out the little hole where his food was delivered.

Harley giggled brightly. "No Jervy! It's me, Harls? Harley Quinn? Doctor Quinzel? We've met loads of times, if you just think a bit, you'll remember. Can ya do that fah me?" More confused muttering emerged from the cell. It was hard to follow all of it, but she thought she'd heard something about a party. "Jervy..." she began again, cajoling the cranky inmate, "I brought ya some propah tea, an' a real china cup! I know they don't letcha have 'em in here normally. All I need from ya is fah ya ta tell me where ya left them mind control cards an' stuff of yourn... Dontcha want some tea?"

At her offer, the small man perked up, clarity flashing across his face for a moment, before his own particular brand of delusions sucked him back under. "Tea? With little cakes? Wherever did you find them Alice?" Harley sighed, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. Truly, out of all the Arkham inmates, she understood what drove Tetch. Loving someone who wouldn't love you back was hard enough, but loving someone you couldn't find? Her heart went out to the little madman. If calling her Alice would make this exchange go faster, she'd let him have his little delusion.

She gave a little giggle, passing a small bakery box filled with petite fours through the slot. Jervis snatched them from her hands, tearing into the box and popping a tiny pastry into his mouth immediately. The sound that escaped him was akin to ecstasy as the delicate treat melted on his tongue. "The tea, Alice! This requires tea! Hurry hurry, my girl!" His hand reached through the slot, beckoning Harley closer.

The jester bit her tongue, needing to change track again to regain Tetch's focus. She needed his mind control equipment. If Mister J wouldn't love her of his own accord, then damnit she would /make/ him. It was simple, really, and what Jervis had been trying to accomplish all along. She was simply realizing his brilliance for her own ends. "Now, now, Mister Tetch. The tea is coming, still hot and everything, but I do need to know where your mind control devices are. How else will we get enough guests for the tea party?" A little white lie, she cringed, but it was for the greater good. All was fair in love and war, and she was certain Tetch would agree, if he were having one of his more lucid moments.

"All too, true too, my Alice dear." The short criminal mumbled, muttering a few broken lines of nursery rhymes to himself, before his whole face brightened. "Why Alice, they are simply under the mushroom, where I always keep them. That way they're safe from twinkle bats and crocodiles with shining tails." He seemed delighted that he had remembered, and Harley, pleased that he'd managed that much, passed the delicate porcelain cup and the thermos of hot tea through the slot to the madman.

"Wonderful, Mister Tetch. You enjoy those cakes and this tea, and I'll be sure to visit you again so we can have a proper party."

The madman's face fell, and he pressed closer to the door. "Alice, my Alice, I implore you to stay."

She felt bad, but time was running short, and the guard rotation was soon. "I can't, Mister Tetch, not tonight. The Red Queen is searching for me, and I dare not get caught. I will be back, though. I promise. With guests for the party!"

Jervis sighed, rubbing his forehead. "We cannot have you losing your head, go then, my Alice." Harley turned, starting down the hallway, when he stopped her with his voice, a small, tremulous sound that broker her heart. "But Harley... can you bring the little chocolate cakes next time? With the fluffy white icing?"

She turned, beaming at the Mad Hatter, his moments of lucidity were something that the psychiatrist in her treasured above almost anything else. "Anything you want, Jervy. I promise." That was a promise she intended to keep. It wasn't that hard to pop in for a visit every now and then. After all, they were friends... of a sort.


	2. Chapter 2

Harls made her way into the former Wonderland theme park, shadows casting an ominous gloom about the abandoned rides. Jervis had not occupied the place in a long while, but the remains of his subtle influence could be seen dotted about the premises. Some of the topiary maintained the vague outlines of animal shapes, the fake roses were dripped with red paint, all those little touches that showed the madman cared about authenticity so much more than the original owners of the place. He was a passionate creature, and this had been his whole world for a time. The blonde jester spared a smile just for the small man, he had done her a great favour, and she had only kind thoughts to scatter over his name.

Though Jervis was once more a vaunted "guest" of Arkham's unique hospitality, complete disorder had yet to spread through the entirety of his chosen kingdom. Harleen picked her way carefully between the garden of tin petunias and oversized violets, gloved fingers trailing across their smiling cheeks as she passed. This section of the park still looked almost lived in. She searched her brain, attempting to remember her way through the riot of characters and scenery. She had not made a habit of visiting Tetch when he was ensconced in the amusement park, it heightened his particular delusions and since she did happen to be blonde, it was best never to tempt fate.

The real trick for her was remembering what part of the story the mushrooms had been part of. Alice in Wonderland had never been her story of choice growing up, not that theirs had been a household where stories were a priority. She thought that perhaps it had something to do with a cat... or was it a caterpillar? Yes! A caterpillar! That had to be it. She consulted the ripped and stained park guide she'd found blowing about amidst the debris. The caterpillar coaster seemed to be up ahead just a bit, past the mome raths, whatever that was, and just over that giant wad of pre-chewed gum sticking the page together. Tossing the map aside to drift along the ground in the breeze once more, she moved along towards her goal.

In the remains of the food court she paused to examine some rather new looking machinery, it appeared that the amusement park had finally been condemned. Poor Jervis would be devastated. Her eyes lit on a chainsaw, fingers twitching. There was something about a good Husquvarna that made a girl feel like a woman. Still, with no one about, she had to focus on her mission. Still... She blew the demolition equipment a kiss goodbye, longing plain on her face. Maybe she'd pop by for a little 'shopping' once her main objective had been achieved.

She approached the weathered structure of the coaster, marveling at the peeling pain and rusty tracks. There he was, a rather malevolent looking caterpillar, puffing away on a hookah and proudly perched upon the decaying remains of a wooden mushroom. It looked like perhaps termites had infested the thing, the statuary was listing rather dangerously to one side, the weight of the leviathan sized larvae too much for the spindly stem of the mushroom now that it's integrity had been compromised. The only benefit Harley could see to all this decay was that at the base of the stem, the outline of a door had been revealed, the edges no longer a solid seal due to all the damage it had seen.

She dug her fingers into the spongy wood, dampness and infestation allowing the wood to disintegrate as she tugged the former panel from it's moorings. Behind it though, was the treasure she sought. Though there was rust coating the outside of the metal box, she trusted Jervis' obsessive nature to guarantee that the equipment inside was in operational order. He would never have abandoned it otherwise. Struggling with the latches, she finally pried the squeaky lid open, revealing the mind control technology, pristine just as she had believed it would be. Harls let out a small sigh of delight, removing a filthy glove to caress the inside of the bands, the chips shining in the wavery light. Soon everything she had ever wanted would be hers, but first she would have to test it out. She couldn't risk any of this not working.

She slammed shut the lid to the box and crammed it into her bag, her face the very picture of grim determination. She would show that smarmy-faced clown that she was not someone whose emotions could be trifled with. If you promised Harleen Quinzel the world on fire with your hand in hers, you damn well better be prepared to follow through. She hadn't been that monster's whipping girl all these years to be cast aside with all the concern you show a used condom.

She was picking her way back through to the construction and demolition equipment when the headlights of a police cruiser sheared across the darkness. Swearing under her breath, she ducked down behind a Bobcat, watching as a uniformed GCPD officer stepped out of the vehicle, flashlight swinging across the area. Apparently his partner was staying in the car, and she narrowed her eyes. The other copper wasn't on the radio... but appeared to be eating a sandwich. So this was just a routine sweep, not anything spurred by her presence. Oddly, that fact incensed her further. First Mister J dismissed her, now the stupid pigs?

Once more her eyes ghosted across the bright orange handle of the discarded chainsaw, an inch starting in the back of her mind. How dare everyone ignore her. How dare they?!?!? Tucking her bag under the Bobcat for safekeeping, she did a quick set of flips over to where the Husquvarna had been discarded, tilting it with her head canted to one side, listening for the liquid level in the gas tank. A dark smile crossed her features, eyes narrowing at the retreating back of the rather unobservant officer. Time for this jester to do a little pruning.

The growl of the chainsaw roaring to life shattered the silence of the evening. The horrified officer spun around, flashlight dropping from his hand as he desperately reached to unclip his gun from it's holster. His partner was scrabbling with the radio and the door handle, unsure what to do first. Looks like the pair of rookies weren't prepared for an irate female with an inferiority complex tonight. The first officer's shot went wild, zinging by Harley's head as she rushed him, heaving the chainsaw in a wide arc. It was heavier than she expected, but she had the fuel of anger pushing her onward.

The rotating blades snagged in the man's kevlar vest, tearing at the fabric of his uniform where his arm met his shoulder, bunching skin and sinew against the tough material. He screamed, gun dropping after the flashlight, going off once more. The wild bullet actually caught the harlequin in the shin, but she didn't notice, so entranced was she by the crimson spurting around her vicious weapon. She yanked on the gas powered blade, dragging it away from the more difficult to penetrate kevlar, feeling the flesh part beneath it like sun-softened butter. Though her particular ministrations were jerky due to the weight of the machinery, the flesh and skin peeled from the officer's bones in a beautiful cascade of blood and viscera.

That trademark high-pitched giggle escaped her blood-spattered lips as the officer fell to ground, shock and blood loss rendering him unconscious. From the speed at which the blood was jetting from his wounds, it appeared she might have struck an artery, leaving his remaining life in the minutes. Unfortunately, the jester didn't have time to enjoy it, as the partner had finally managed to radio in and was hanging over the roof of the car, aiming a gun at her head.

With a cheeky smile she waved the chainsaw at the cop, taking a menacing step forward. "Aw sugah, ya really think that's ya best idea taday?" Giggling she heaved the still running chainsaw towards the police vehicle, cartwheeling aside as the nervous rookie shot repeatedly at her retreating form. She dodged back behind the Bobcat to pick up her bag, dashing deeper into the park. Looks like she'd be leaving over a fence than back through the main entrance tonight.


End file.
